When you hear “the Proverbs 31 woman,” what do you envision? Perfectionism? Ladylikeness? Stay-at-home? Weak? Boring?

Growing up, I heard lots of teaching on her. She was the perfect lady, who I had to be like if I wanted to be godly. I pictured her sitting at home doing fancy needlework, wearing a flowery dress, and painted in make-up. She never went anywhere but sipped tea out of a china teacup. I’m pretty sure if you pushed her over, she would break. She was weak, wimpy, and boring. 

There is one problem with this picture. It is not accurate. 

One day, when I was about 16, God introduced me to a very different woman. I call her the P31 Tomboy. And I want to be like her.

An Introduction to the P31 Tomboy

It all starts with Proverbs 31:10, “Who can find a virtuous woman?” or “Who can find an excellent wife?” depending on your translation. 

The word virtuous/excellent is the Hebrew word Chayil, which means strength, valor, ability, force. It is used to describe David and other warriors.  

Immediately upon reading this passage, we find a strong, valiant woman who is the female equivalent of a man of war. 

But it does not stop there. Continue reading with me. 

She is trustworthy. Her husband trusts her completely. He does not have to micro-manage her because she has ability, is faithful, and reliable. He also does not domineer over her, but that is another topic.

One of my gripes with the Proverbs 31 woman I grew up with is that she sat around at home all day and never did anything interesting. This woman is not that woman. Verses 13-14 tell us that she is out seeking wool and flax and travels afar like a merchant ship. Merchant ships travel across oceans. She is out on an adventure.

She is knowledgeable and capable. She considers a field, buys it, and plants a vineyard. This shows that she knows real estate and agriculture. We do not have to know those to be like her, but we can be knowledgeable about a trade or career. She is not reliant on others for her finances but can take care of herself.

She works out. “She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong.” (v.17). If that is now a workout, I don’t know what is! She is strong, tough, and buff.

She has multiple streams of income. Not only is she involved in agriculture, but she also runs a wholesale business. She produces profitable, quality merchandise that she sells to the merchants. She is capable.

She is generous. She gives to the poor and ministers to others.

Fear is not a word she is acquainted with. This woman is prepared for hard times (v. 21) and thus can laugh at the future (v. 25). Nothing will come that she cannot handle, and she also ensures her family is prepared and taken care of. 

Strength and dignity are her clothing. When people see her, they see strength and dignity. She is strong and yet dignified. She is a lady but in all the best senses of the word. Because you see, a true lady is strong, honorable, and above the common. 

She is wise, and that wisdom is displayed in her words. People come to her for advice. She knows what she is about and more. She also speaks kindly to everyone. 

Finally, she knows that the fear of the Lord is more important than beauty and charm. Unlike some women, she does not spend an hour in the morning painting her face and fixing her hair. True beauty comes from the inside, and no amount of work on the outside can imitate it. 

This woman places her relationship with God above all else. That is the secret to how she accomplishes all that she does. He shines and works through her. Her life reflects Christ, and without that key ingredient, no one can hope to be a P31 Tomboy or Proverbs 31 woman.

The P31 Tomboy

At the beginning of this post, I painted the picture I grew up with for the Proverbs 31 woman; now, let me paint a picture of the P31 Tomboy. 

The P31 Tomboy is a capable, strong, knowledgeable woman. She is entirely trustworthy, wise, and diligent. Having multiple sources of income, she excels at all of them and is an expert in her work. She is adventurous and explores far reaches to meet her family’s needs. She workouts, and you would not want to fight her. She is fearless, dignified, and wise. Above all else, she seeks God and submits to Him. He is her Lord, Friend, and Love. 

Does that appeal to you? I know it does for me. That is who I want to be. 

Which aspect is most appealing to you? Which would you like to see as a reality in your life? Please share it with me in the comments!